Me vs. Me

Happy birthday to me and Happy New Year to you if you're reading this.

Whew. 27 years old! 27 where? I can't even believe this is my life right now. For some reason I have felt the same since I turned 23, honestly, but year 26 was a rollercoaster for me so I know for a fact 27 will be everything I want it to be.

Moneybagg Yo was not lying when he said he been feeling like it's me vs. me. In 2021 that became my real life mantra once I looked back on things and accepted it for what is was. I was not ok last year. I truly was not. When I came home in March of 2021 from Iran I was ok but by November I was just sick. Mentally, spiritually and some days physically. Life had hit me in a way that I had never expected and I began to let my thoughts overwhelm me. Going to the gym would be my escape but after not getting signed by a few teams I didn't even want to be in the gym. I was losing my sanity. I was just getting by financially and more importantly I felt very alone.There were only a couple people I felt truly supported me when I faced this. Since then I've limited my conversations with people and really just accepted certain people for what they show me. Even people I was once close with, but some friendships are genuinely one sided and Im ok with that. Eventually I began to feel more motivated because I signed to play back in Iran, but shortly after, I rolled my ankle and caught covid at the same time. Listen, people dont even know how much shit I was going through. I was sick sick and could not walk. Time healed me and next thing you know, I was headed back to the middle east.

Once I was here, I instantly felt better. I was just able to relax and think clearly. Since I've been reflecting I realized sometimes I am my own problem. My procrastination. My doubt. My uncertainty and so much more. Im leaving that at 26 because its no use for it now and it wont help with my future plans. I would tell you guys my plans but thats not really my style, if you keep up with me on instagram or in real life, you will see me living a new reality of life very soon. This year I vowed to hold myself even more accountable than I ever have because Im not about to be 30 wishing I did this and that. LOL. So yea, just stay connected. If you have made it this far I just want to say thanks again for checking out this post. Being a bit transparent on my blog was a gift I wanted to give my audience for my birthday and it feels good to knock something off the list because even the small wins matter. <3

Cheers to 27 🥂